Letting Go and Starting Over
by GeneaLady
Summary: Number 5 in my Andrew & Colleen Courtship series. More off-canon than the previous 4. This fic also serves as a companion fic to The Pardon.


"Is Colleen asleep?" Michaela asked, looking up from her medical journal and setting it down when she heard Sully enter their bedroom.

"Yep. She was asleep almost before I tucked her in," Sully replied as he quickly stripped out of his clothes and climbed into bed beside her.

"You tucked her in?" Michaela asked, unable to suppress a grin.

"Yeah," Sully beamed in return. "Think she kinda liked it, too."

"I'm sure she did," she assured him. "You're such a wonderful father to them all, but there were some things we missed not raising them from babies."

"I know," Sully nodded. "That's why I hated be from the family all those months. Can't get time back, 'specially with Katie."

"Look at it this way," Michaela attempted to find the silver lining in the situation. "Katie will never remember you were gone."

"True," Sully sighed. "Ya always know what ta say ta make me feel better."

"As your wife, that's my duty," she smiled impishly.

"Believe me, you do your duty of bein' my wife very well," Sully replied seductively, referring to the "wifely duty" her mother had warned her about just prior to their marriage, before capturing her lips in a fiery kiss.

"As do you as their father," Michaela whispered in reply as the kiss broke.

"No wonder we got such great kids," Sully chuckled softly.

Michaela chuckled in reply. "So, how did you know about Colleen's altercation with Mr. Collins?" she asked curiously.

"Did Brian tell ya why I was late comin' home?" Sully asked in return.

"He wouldn't," she shook her head. "He would only say that you said you had something you needed to take care of first."

"We ran inta Andrew on the road just before we got home," he began to explain.

"What was he doing still out here at that time of night?" Michaela asked, puzzled.

"He was waitin' for me," Sully continued. "He said he needed ta talk ta me, so I sent Brian home."

"Why would he wait all that time to tell you something that Colleen or I would have told you?" she asked again.

"That's not all he wanted ta tell me. He also told me that after, he kissed Col..." Sully went on.

"I know," Michaela interrupted. "Colleen told me."

"Doesn't surprise me," Sully chuckled.

"I must say," Michaela sighed. "I've been expecting them to begin courting for some time now, but I didn't imagine it would start like this. Not only did he kiss her without speaking to you first, Sully, but after he did and told her that he loves her, he didn't even ask her to court. Now Colleen doesn't know what to think!"

"Andrew explained everythin'" Sully whispered, placing two of his finger tips on her lips to shush her.

"He did?" she asked, interested.

"Yep. Seems ta me that they're a lot like us," he smirked.

"They are?" she asked as she arched an eyebrow.

"Yep," Sully grinned. "I meant it when I kissed ya on your first birthday ya were here, but I wasn't expectin' ta do it that night."

"I wasn't expecting it either!" Michaela exclaimed, causing Sully to chuckle.

"Andrew told me that the altercation gave him the kick in the pants ta finally act on his feelin's," he told her.

"He actually said that?" she snickered playfully.

"Well, maybe he used different words, but that was his point," Sully chuckled.

"So then why didn't he ask her to court him? He had to have known she would have accepted," Michaela said, becoming agitated again.

"Because he knew that wasn't the way ta do it," he explained, trying to assure Michaela that he really have honorable intentions. "The kiss caught him off guard, but when he realized what happened, he didn't wanna do anythin' else that would compromise her honor."

"Colleen will be so relieved!" she sighed.

"She was," Sully confirmed.

"Is that why you were so eager to talk to her tonight?" Michaela asked.

"I was more concerned with seein' if she was ok after what happened with Mr. Collins, but yeah, that was part of it," Sully replied.

"So he's going to ask her to court him tomorrow?" she anticipated.

"No," he replied.

"Why not?! I thought..." Michaela fumed.

"Because," he said before kissing her softly. "I told him that I needed ta talk ta you an' Matthew first. If we're all in agreement that he's the man for Colleen, then I told him he could."

"You're going to discuss it with Matthew?" Michaela asked, again giving a proud grin.

"'Course," Sully shrugged off her surprise. "I may have known Colleen as long as they've been in Colorado Springs, but Matthew actually went through their struggles with her. I jus' brought 'em food, medicine, an' friendship. Matthew was the one who had ta be the man of the house when Ethan left."

"You are a wise man, Byron Sully and all of our children are blessed to have you as their father," she leaned in and kissed him softly.

"Told him he should talk ta Matthew, too," he went on. "But can't take credit for that because he was already plannin' on it."

"Good. Maybe Andrew has honorable intentions, after all," Michaela said.

"He does. Don't hold taday against him too much. Those woman doctors are so intimidatin' they scare most men, but then somethin' happens an' they have to act immediately without thinkin," Sully explained, his vivid blue eyes never wavering from her green and hazel ones.

"Is that so?" she asked impishly.

"Yep," he grinned broadly before claiming her lips in a kiss that left no doubt how he felt about his woman doctor.

When the kiss broke, Sully let out a sigh.

"What is it?" Michaela asked softly.

"Michaela, do ya think it's awful that I wish we'd had the chance ta have some of the experiences with Matthew, Colleen, an' Brian that we have with Katie?" he asked as if he were ashamed to have those thoughts. "It's horrible that Ethan abandoned them an' Charlotte died, but..."

"I don't think it's awful at all," she assured him as she tenderly stroked his hair. "It means that we love them as if they were our own children. It's no different than them calling us Ma and Pa or allowing us to legally adopt them. I understand how you feel though, I feel the same way."

"I suppose you're right," Sully relaxed.

"Besides, there will be other opportunities to have those experiences," Michaela said, trying to keep a straight face.

"Whadda ya mean?" he looked at her in confusion.

"I was actually at the château just before Colleen's altercation with Mr. Collins," she began.

"Why were ya there?" Sully asked, furrowing his brow.

"I wanted him to examine me," Michaela said simply.

"Michaela!" he exclaimed, instantly fearing that something connected to her recent shooting had occurred.

"Sully, relax," she replied with a gentle, but firm tone. "I'm fine. Actually, I'm pregnant."

His mouth dropped open and he just stared at her blankly before stammering, "You're... pregnant...?"

"I am!" she beamed.

"Oh, 'Chaela!" Sully exclaimed, gathering her into his arms and kissing her senseless.

"So you're happy?" she asked needlessly, still in his arms.

""Course I am!" Sully exclaimed. "How far along are ya?"

"Andrew thinks I'm about three months," she replied.

Sully thought a minute and then grinned. "The cave..." he realized.

"I told you I felt something magical that afternoon," she grinned, her eyes moist with tears.

"Maybe all those months away weren't so bad after all," Sully said, kissing her again.

"It certainly ended better than I could have ever imagined," she replied, not completely admitting the entire experience had been worth it.

Suddenly, something else dawned on him. "Michaela!" he nearly yelled, his voice filled with panic as if he didn't know that she had come through the ordeal with no permanent damage. "You were already pregnant when ya got shot..."

Michaela swallowed hard as she nodded in confirmation, she wanted desperately to assure him that their baby would be fine, especially since that had been Andrew's opinion, but the thought still very much unnerved her. "Andrew said the baby appears to be just fine," she finally spoke softly.

"Michaela... I almost lost ya... That alone woulda killed me. I can't imagine if I woulda lost our baby, too," Sully choked tearfully.

"Sully, I... we... are fine," she assured him, stroking his cheek softly, bringing his hand to her stomach.

Once Sully's hand made contact with Michaela's stomach, he sighed in relief.

"It seems that our baby has his father's will to live," she whispered into his ear before nibbling on it.

"Seems ta me that he's also got his father's nack for gettin' himself inta life threatenin' situations," Sully sighed, not wanting Michaela or any of his children to be like him in that way, no matter how good they deemed the cause.

"It seems so," Michaela couldn't help but smirk at the accuracy of the comparison, even though it terrified her.

"Maybe ya should be careful what ya ask for," he warned her. "Ya did say if we ever had a boy, ya wanted him ta be like me. So, if it is a boy, he probably will... especially since his ma can't help helpin' others either..."

"Well, his father better stop that," she glared at him in all seriousness.

"Yes, ma'am," Sully replied sincerely, but his eyes twinkling.

"Good," she replied.

"Michaela," he began, still slightly nervous. "I want Dr. Bernard ta examine ya jus' ta make sure you an' the baby are ok..."

"I thought you might," she smiled slightly. "I trust Andrew's medical opinion, but we both agreed that it would be a good idea. I've already sent him a telegram and received his reply. He'll be on Friday afternoon's train."

"Good," Sully sighed in relief.

Michaela ran her fingers down his cheek before kissing him softly.

"What about..." he trailed off.

"Andrew didn't discover anything in the exam that gave him any indication it was anything less than perfectly safe for us to be together," she finished his thought.

"I love you so much," Sully whispered before kissing her.

"I love you, too," she broke the kiss to whisper before claiming his lips yet again.

The worries of their unborn child and Colleen temporarily forgotten, Sully slowly moved over Michaela, moving her down to lay back on the bed. Once she was comfortable, he slowly moved the hem of her night gown up her body, grinning when Michaela eagerly raised up to allow him to pull it off without having to ask.

Once she was naked, he positioned himself at her feet, his eyes raked up and down her frame, marveling how beautiful she was. As his eyes returned to her feet, he carefully picked up her left and began to massage it. He smirked slightly at the knowledge that he would need to lavish Michaela with extra love and attention over the next months, specifically on her feet. With that thought in mind, he slipped her big toe into his mouth, his warm tongue swirling around its length.

"Ahhh..." Michaela sighed as she relaxed back on the bed.

Grinning at her reaction, he continued with the other four toes before continuing to the other foot. After making love to her feet, Sully got on all fours, his body looming above Michaela's with his head just above Michaela's stomach. Bracing himself with his right hand and his knees, he took his left hand hand began leaving ghost-like touches on her stomach, which was nearly imperceptibly rounded- the only one that would notice would be Michaela or someone who knew her as intimately as Sully did. Soon, he returned his hand to the bed and lowered himself to her body, whispering softly between peppering her skin with kisses.

As Michaela heard his whispers, her eyes welled with tears of love that she felt for her child and for Sully. From her experiences with her pregnancy with Katie, she knew that Sully was talking to the baby, telling him or her how much it was loved.

Continuing up her body, he leaned back on his legs as he let Michaela's breasts fill his hands, realizing that they, too, were beginning to change.

When she felt Sully's calloused hands on her smooth breasts, Michaela let out a small gasp.

"Ya ok?" he asked softly.

"Sensitive," she replied as she grinned and nodded.

Sully lightened his touch a bit, gently running his hands over the contrast between her soft flesh and her hardened nipples.

"Mmm..." Michaela sighed.

Assured that she was not in any pain, Sully leaned forward to take her left nipple in her mouth gently while he continued to run his hand over her right. Knowing that her breasts were becoming sensitive, he decided to simply run his tongue over the firm peak rather than suckle it.

"Oh, Sully!" Michaela moaned, rewarding his decision and letting him know that she was being pleasured.

Sully continued to work on her breast for a few more minutes before reversing his attentions. It wasn't long before Michaela's shallow gasps for air let him know that she was ready.

"I love you," he whispered as he lowered himself to her and kissed her passionately as he slowly slid himself inside.

"MMM..." Michaela moaned into their kiss as she lifted her hips toward his, wrapping her legs around his waist to bring him as deep inside her as possible.

As soon as Sully felt Michaela's wrap around him and her hips press against his, he began thrusting in a slow rhythm, both to make sure he didn't hurt Michaela as well as to draw out their pleasure.

While Michaela normally showed her enthusiasm by encouraging Sully, with both her words and actions, to quicken his pace, she decided to simply relax and enjoy the way that he was loving her and instead show her enthusiasm with her voice as well as caresses to his skin.

Not wanting to wake the children, Sully swallowed Michaela's moans with passionate kisses, only to return them with groans of his own as her fingers moved over his shoulders, back, and backside in the same gentle fashion that he had. The wonderful sensations coupled with the emotion of the day quickly counteracted the fact that his thrusts were still in a slow, drawn out rhythm, and Sully soon felt Michaela shivering against him.

As soon as he felt her flood him with the evidence of their passion, he, too, was thrown into a wave of ecstasy.

"I love you," Sully whispered after his body had calmed and he rolled on his back, bringing Michaela with them and keeping them connected for as long as possible.

"I love you, too," she replied quietly as she gently traced random patterns on his chest with her fingers.

Her touch was just about to lull him to sleep when he realized that Michaela seemed to be thinking hard about something.

"What's wrong?" he asked softly, rubbing her back with the arm that was not around her waist.

"I was just thinking about the article I was reading in the New England Journal of Medicine when you came in," she replied.

"You're thinkin' about a medical article now?" he asked with a chuckle.

"It was about extra uterine pregnancy," she replied softly.

"What's that?" Sully asked. He supported her career completely and loved when they would discuss things in her field, but some of the time he didn't have a clue what she was talking about.

"It's where the baby grows outside the uterus, most often in the fallopian tube, resulting in a pregnancy that's in-survivable for the baby and very dangerous for the mother," she explained quietly, her voice clearly filled with sorrow and worry.

"Michaela, you just found out this mornin' that you're pregnant, an' were when ya got shot, why the heck are ya torturin' yourself by readin' that stuff now?!" Sully asked, baffled.

"Sully, just because I'm pregnant doesn't mean I should stop educating myself on conditions and treatments that have or may affect my patients," she rationalized.

"True," he agreed. "But ya coulda at least waited til Dr. Bernard's examination. Look at what happened when ya were pregnant with Katie when ya worried an' worked too much, an' ya hadn't even been shot yet. Ya gotta be careful."

"I will, Sully, I promise," she vowed, lifting her head to kiss him softly.

"Good. Now don't go gettin' yourself worried, everythin' will be fine," he assured her.

"Alright. I love you," she said before kissing him again.

"I love you, too. Now get some sleep," he gently encouraged.

As he felt Michaela relax into his embrace, Sully thought that, while he may need to let go of Colleen soon, they would be starting over with a new baby by the fall.


End file.
